I am Personally Offering Pres. Bush a Dodgeball Scholarship To HFCC

In this weekend's cultural insult, I found one skill that I had overlooked in our often maligned Commander-In-Chief...His Mad SKILZ dodging things. He has dodged the Vietnam War, impeachment, etc. but this weekend he showed his cat-like speed and reflexes dodging that shoe.


We need him on the HFCC dodgeball team. Maybe can just enroll in a few classes and get an associates in HVAC or criminal justice. If he joins the team and enrolls for an associates in religious studies, I will personally pay a full ride scholarship to Henry Ford Community College. So, come on, Mr. President...we are waiting.

Has the South turned on Former Sons & Daughters?

Michigan Lt. Governor John Cherry is just now on television here in Michigan trying to calm fears about the recent refusal of the US Senate to create a 'bridge-loan' for the auto industry. Now, don't get me started about how this same Senate had no problem giving a blank check to banks who had SQUANDERED the American financial stability. Give this bailout NO QUESTIONS ASKED to the people who helped create the credit crisis but want MAJOR restrictions from the blue collar people working the line. Shouldn't they worry about what the CEO of the company makes and not the lowest paid worker? Isn't this a bit hypocritical, also, coming from a congress who regularly increased their own salaries? Bitches. That is for another day (another blog) completely.

Lt. Governor Cherry mentioned in his speech the connection between the auto industry and the South. "We here in Michigan (my family and many others) were in fact Sons and Daughters of the South who came to Michigan knowing that there was opportunity here. And we prospered here. And many of us consider ourselves very lucky for that opportunity. Michigan has never begrudged sharing its prosperity with the rest of the nation. In fact in times of crisis, Michigan citizens have opened their wallets, given of their time to help others in distress and when we had Hurricane Katrina, under the Governor's leadership Michigan responded with open arms. Michigan citizens left the state and went south in response to that human need. In this recent debate over the automotive loan we've seen the nation turn its back on Michigan."

Now his speech wasn't all finger-pointing and doom and gloom, but Cherry brings up a great point. The nation is turning its back, but not on Michigan. Rather, it is turning its back on the working class person who wants better for themselves. Some people are suffering and will not be happy to alleviate their suffering...no...they want others to suffer with them. Misery loves company.

But think about it - the South is the #1 place that foreign car companies (which aren't really foreign, but again, another topic for another blog) put their factories. They do not want to level the playing field for the American company. Hell, every other developed country has long-since bailed out their auto industry. China pumped hundreds of billions into theirs.

The South has a genuine fear and hatred of organized labor. Organization lost them Jim Crow, organization lost them control of the coal mines and organization ultimately brought down their Feudal system. Hell, I'd fear it too. Apparently the time bomb was further labor concessions wanted by the "Southern Gentlemen." They were trying to circumvent the spirit of the bill and again attack the union (good going, Dicks...keep playing partisan on your way out the door).

But it doesn't really matter. With all the political rallying and positioning that has occurred, "Georgie Boosh" will go back on his word and open the $700 Billion dollar bailout money to help out the auto industry. If there is one good time to not "stay the course," now is it.

But I cannot help to think about the old, tired adage, "The South Will Rise Again." Is this what they meant? Economic wars? Labor wars? I don't know, but damn it scares me.

FINISHED!!!

I am finally finished grading. Of course I have to now tally final grades, but the reading is complete! Only four days of reading...not bad.

Buried Under Papers

So as I sit here in the basement buried under papers. I have about 120 student essays ranging from four to 14 pages. Usually this process takes about 20 minutes or so per paper. So, don't expect to hear from me in a while.

The Hawks fall to the Cardinals

Usually in nature the hawk, as a bird, is stronger than the cardinal. Cardinals are Hawk food. This was not the case, however, in Saginaw yesterday with the new Henry Ford Community College Club Dodgeball team.

The Saginaw Valley State University varsity dodgeball team (#3 nationally) handily defeated the HFCC team 16-0. The loss will, however, will still get the Hawks in the Top 10 in national rankings. Because some of the conference teams do not begin in earnest until after the first of the year, HFCC will be ranked above THE Ohio State University during the holiday break.

In this 50 minute game (two 25 minute halves), the Hawks performed diligently. The hard work of the past month and a half was apparent; if not by the score then surely by their spirit. The Hawks fielded a 14 person team while SVSU had the allowed 15 person team.

The Hawks line up for their first ever collegiate game.

Playing at this noted disadvantage was not visible during a half a dozen points when the HFCC team had dwindled the active SVSU roster to a handful of strikers (a feat for any first year team). However, when it came down to three on three or five on five, the SVSU team's years of experience and continuity was clear. With a little more experience the Hawks are sure to pull out a win before the end of the season.

SVSU's own teammates made this observation during the game. "This is your first game?" confusingly asked one of the players, "We got beat 17-0 our first game out and we didn't look half this good."

Another player commented, "If you guys play this well with half the teams in our league, you are sure to beat about 4 of them or so."

All in all, the 2.5 hour trip (in the Michigan snow) to Saginaw was a good experience for the HFCC team. They got to see what an NCDA game is like as well as learn of some of the shortcomings of playing college CLUB sports.

"Their refs were they're freakin' players," commented one HFCC Assistant Captain. "How can you ref a game when you are playing the next point?" asked another HFCC teammate.

There were a few questions during the game about the involvement of SVSU fans in illegally returning balls to their field of play. This was handled quickly by SVSU and ceased (making play more balanced). There were also players on both sides who were consistently stepping out of bounds and not leaving the field of play after legitimately being hit with the ball. All of these things could have been avoided with more staff for the game.

Shaken, but not destroyed, the Hawks line up for another point.

"It is a problem for the conference to figure out," stated HFCC's coach. "If the NCDA (the National College Dodgeball Association) wants to be legitimate they need to batten down the hatches on officiating and requiring conference teams to adhere to the conference rules."

"The problem is the financing for these things. These club teams are on a bootstrap budget, but there needs to be ways to get proper refs, ball returners, etc. If and when we host a game at HFCC, I'll find a way to get the refs and staff needed even if I have to take it from my own pocket."

The Hawks have more opportunities for that first win in the months to come. They have taken on a healthy first year season. An invitation to the Michigan Dodgeball Cup as well as possible games with #1 ranked Grand Valley State University and Michigan State University are examples of the calibre of teams HFCC has set its sights on. If they do pull out a win before the Nationals in April, the Henry Ford Community College Hawks would be the first college dodgeball club in the NCDA to win a game in their first season.

Mr. Stewart Again Hits it on the Head

Jon Stewart again proves why he has such a following:

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Autoerotic Explanation

Barack Obama Interview
John McCain Interview

Sarah Palin Video
Funny Election Video

NEW DODGEBALL PAGE!

So, the Henry Ford Community College Dodgeball Team is ready to go. We have a new website (you can check it out HERE).

We are also gearing up for our first game Saturday. We are taking on nationally ranked No. #3 Saginaw Valley State University (yes, there is a collegiate dodgeball conference). Even if we loose we will still get a ranking (some teams, like Ohio State, do not begin their season until Winter). It's a win-win situation. So, we'll at least go into the holidays with a ranking - YEA!

I think the guys and gals on the team will do well. They have worked hard at practice for the past two months (on Friday nights, I might add). I have the utmost faith in them that they can pull out a win. GO HAWKS!!!

This Video is Pretty Funny

Jack Black as Jesus...need I say more?

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Can We Trust Him?

With such a bad decision being made about his toupee, can we really trust Obama's new Office of Management and Budget (OMB) with running our executive branch's business offices? I am not saying that Peter Orszag, current director of the Congressional Budget Office, does know what he is doing. I simply question his critical thinking skills.
Lose the wig and let it fly naturally, brother. Our government needs people who could care less about appearance and care more about getting it cleaned up. Hell, being a baldy gives you a naturally propensity for cleaning...so own it!

I'm Back...

After a bit of a break from blogging, I am happy to say that my schedule is now freer to allow me to write more. As many of you know, I am usually busiest towards the end of the semester and just now have I been able to get caught up on grading and planning. I still have a lot to do, but it is getting under control.

Tonight I head to dodgeball practice. As the coach and adviser it will be most difficult to tap into someplace competitive (other than academic competitiveness). I have to keep these guys motivated and going!

A friendly proposition

I was just thinking that the next time my old high school buddies get together we should do something constructive...literally! We spent this weekend destroying a few things and then being constructive (at least by quickly raking the host's yard). I suggest that we propose weekend projects and then choose one place to travel/complete a project. We could paint a room, landscape, etc. The host could provide food and the equipment and then the travelers could help, hang out, and eat.

Just a thought...

A thought now that Congress has rejected the buyout

Vegetarians Brain Shrinkage

In another fabulous study, scientists have shown that vegetarians are more likely to suffer from brain shrinkage than normal omnivores. Vitamin B12 (or a lack of this vitamin) is the cause of brain shrinkage in vegetarians and vegans (along with elderly, pregnant women and people who live strictly on Twinkies). Read more HERE.

I always was very smarmy with my veggie-swilling friends in college. They chastised me daily for my love of all things once mobile and breathing grilled, fried and broiled. I heard rant after rant about the healthy benefits of such a life style. Now, I know that there are benefits, but everything in moderation my friend. We have high schoolers drowning themselves in the "gotta Hydrate" frenzy, people eating so much soy that it gets bad for them and eventually the egg will surely be bad for us again, or is it bad now and it will be good for us again? Does anyone know about eggs? Am I supposed to eat them? Will I die if I do? Will I die if I don't? Damn science!

I always told my vegetarian friends in college that they were stupidly arguing with me...now I have scientific proof.

I am a Doctoral Student

Well, I had my cadre of interviews today. I spoke with the dean of graduate studies, my mentor and a few others. I have been "officially recommended for enrollment" in the program!!!

I will be studying, through the great works of western civilization, the relationship between God and Man. I hope to investigate how the western relationship between these two beings has molded modern American religious landscapes. I will get to go to weird churches, get to read great books and explore BIG ideas!

I should be getting my official enrollment packet soon and I will start my studies as soon as 2009 is here. The only thing now is to save a little coin to purchase the $1000 book set Great Books of the Western World.

So hooray for me! Hooray for reading! Hooray for school!

Remember this one...

My nephew says, "NO YOU DON'T!!! I will eat your face off!"

He looks like a little Hannibal Lector, doesn't he??? All he needs is a nice bottle of Chianti.

What a long strange trip...(it will be)

With such a kitschy title, this is obviously sophomoric...how apropos that this particular entry is about my upcoming trip to Ohi-A. During the first week of October I will be joining both family and friends for a rootin'-tootin' good time. High School Football games, pumpkin farms, cows and county fairs will fill a three day schedule.

Friday is the - wait for it - high school homecoming football game. Should be a hefty dose of mulletude kickin' in the ol' 43155. Probably "chaw" in the urinals too! If only I hadn't cut my horseshoe mustache.


Saturday is a fun-filled day (no sarcasm intended) with my seester and my nephew. My parents might tag along, but we are all off to a pumpkin farm to get the little one into some trouble. Yea childhood! This kid is cool! He is my number one bud!


Sunday is the Fairfield County Fair Preview Day. My buddy John, a PR rep from a small liberal arts college in central Ohio, is accompanying me to this lovely day (as well as doing the Friday football fun with me). It should be full of cows, chickens, 4-H projects, funnel cakes and little 4-inch mirrors enscrawled with Motley Crue and Poison album covers.

I will surely come home with a cane from the cane toss, a yard stick from the farm bureau and some salt water taffy. Oh yea, and probably some animal feces in my shoe treads.


I will surely be reporting about this weekend later in the fall.

R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

Ohio University deserves its respect. After decades of jokes and fans only going to the games for the halftime show (that was me!), the Ohio University Bobcat football team gave "No.3" THE Ohio State Buckeyes a RUN FOR THEIR MONEY!!! And they did this with a second-string quarterback (that that OSU).


According to an article in the New York Times, THE Ohio State University wide receiver Brian Hartline said, "O.U. should have won the game. I don’t know how we came out with it.” And I must agree! I have never been so riveted to a football game (and I was listening on the radio! I am not a sports fan and usually could care less so this is a big feat).

The article goes onto say that "Ohio’s inspired play quieted the fans as well as the Buckeyes." Again, I agree.

SO GO FREAKIN' BOBCATS! Get a little respect for some hard work and dumb luck. It goes to show that you can never underestimate the underdog!


UPDATE!!! The Bobcats helped knock old THE Ohio State University from No. 3 in the Coaches and AP Poll to No. 5 on Sunday! Way to go Green and White! Read more HERE.

KWAME IS GONE!!! (or going...)

Well, he is resigning, paying 1 million in restitution, spending 120 days in jail, losing his law license and spending the next five years reporting to his probation officer. Kwame Kilpatrick, soon-to-be-former mayor of Detroit, has pleaded guilty today just before 11 a.m.

Read more about Kwame's downfall HERE.

Second Temple Wall Found

According to the Jerusalem Post, the remnants of the southern wall of Jerusalem that was built by the Hasmonean kings during the time of the Second Temple was uncovered on Mount Zion by the Israeli Antiquities Authority.

The wall is over 2,100 years old and was destroyed during the Great Revolt against Rome in 66 CE. Hopefully, according the archeologists on the scene, they will be uncovering the first temple wall soon. Below is a picture of what the Second Temple would have looked like. Read more about the wall HERE.

RIP Jerry Reed

On September 1st, Jerry Reed passed away from complications with emphysema. Many know old Mr. Reed from his role in the Smokey and the Bandit movies. Known as "The Snowman", Jerry ran the hooch while Bandit took care of the smokies (highway cops). He even took the role of the Bandit on in the third installment of the truck-driving-trilogy.

With such great songs as "Amos Moses", "Eastbound and Down" (the theme from Smokey and Bandit), "She Got the Goldmine (I got the Shaft)" and "When You're Hot", Jerry was one of the true hillbillies of country music. He wasn't New Country and he wasn't a throwback - he was the real McCoy!

Here is a little film that someone posted to YouTube with a rendition of one of Jerry's songs. As I sit in my basement early this morning stranded (because my wife took off to mid-Michigan with MY car keys), I cannot help to think of Mr. Reed and this fabulous song.